super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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