Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
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