I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
