i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
