you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
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