I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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