party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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