i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize
