...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize
