It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Randomize
