At least make sure they are 18
Why
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
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