Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
