Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
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