Well apparently he's into motor boating.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
