butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
