Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Randomize
