So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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