so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
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