i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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