I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Randomize
