hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Randomize
