I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
you never un-have a 4some
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
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