He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Randomize
