i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
Did I show you my penis last night?
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
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