Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
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