I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Randomize