We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
