i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
