Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Randomize
