At least make sure they are 18
Why
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Randomize
