at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
