I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
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