He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize
