So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
