Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
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