Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
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