Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
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