i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
