So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
