My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Randomize
