she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
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