you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
