I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
