If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
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