Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
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