Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
