How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Randomize
