I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize