I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
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