i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
So apparently I’m into choking now
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