well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I just blew my weed a kiss
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Randomize
