Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
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