dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
