Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
she looked like the before picture.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
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