he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
