Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
