who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Will exercising make me less horny?
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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