but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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