i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Randomize
