I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
she peed on how many people?
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
